I wanted to use this post to rail on The Tipping Point, but I best wait until I finish it until I try to take it apart. So, I’ll reflect on It’s not you, it’s the dishes instead. This book was originally called Spousonomics but was later renamed. The premise is that the authors apply economic principles to marriage. Just as economics tries to provide structure to how the deal should be struck, sposonomics tries to give guidelines as to the terms and format of that agreement. If I say nothing else about the book, my major learning is that happiness stemming from a relationship can be fixed by both parties sitting down and working out an agreement. My take: as in business, because each situation is different, no solution shall ever be the same. And thus, we hope that we read enough case studies to learn from others’ experience and apply our learnings to our own life.
Each chapter in the book has exactly three case studies assembled from a series of interviews. Some are weaker in proving their points than others. Some of the couples’ problems could have been handled with solutions from more than a single chapter. In *all* cases, the couples had to first identify the problem. Then they had to sit down and come up with a solution. Some ideas: chore distribution by total time of the couple rather than total time of the individual, take a time out before an argument heats up out of control, stay in the habit of being in love even if not inspired by mood, not being complacent that your spouse will always be there, set incentives between the couple for good behavior, compromise, open communication and don’t put off dealing with the issues because you never will.
The same problem can be solved with more than one of these techniques, but as Bryan says, just do something!
My questions: what if only one person thinks it’s an issue? How to bring up the problem without bringing blame into the matter?