Today I realize I don’t always accept help well.  I’m quick to ask for help when I need it, but when others offer help without me asking, it often makes me frustrated.  I don’t know if it makes me feel incapable or if I just want to take a stab at whatever it is first.  Or maybe I’m not busy enough.  I always feel like I’m towing the line between just throwing up my hands completely and thinking ‘ok, fine, I’ll just let the other person do it’ and trying to hang onto more than I can manage on my own for not wanting to let it out of my grasp (discouraged by The Effective Executive).  Strangely, the one person I have no struggle receiving help from is my husband.  I like it when he offers to help, although I try to be careful not to be a burden.

I wonder if I get this from my grandma.  She never wanted advice or help as she got older.  I don’t know if she wouldn’t admit that she needed help or if she didn’t need it.  (And she was always asking my grandpa for help.)  Maybe the same is true for me, but at least I understand where she is coming from.

There’s a sermon (undoubtedly many more) on receiving, but emphasizes that one must receive God’s grace (here assumed to be a given) as well as his penalties.  I guess I struggle with this too – I haven’t figured out what to do when any being helps me – and when something bad happens, I say it ain’t fair.  But I’m ok at making lemonade from lemons.  The sermon seems all mixed up to me.  I can associate more with this article for women truck drivers.  “Practice saying ‘thank you, yes, I would like some help’ or ‘thank you, but no, I don’t need any help right now’ and then you will at least be gracious to the person trying to be nice by offering help and will be a good example to the patronizing ones.”  This works well – but what about when the help isn’t offered, it’s just given…

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One thought on “

  1. It’s tricky business taking help when its just given and oftentimes as a woman, I feel like its given much more than I need it. (Just like unsolicited advice) But, usually people are just trying to be nice and I try to accept the gift in the spirit it was given even if it’s annoying as hell.

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